to my baby boy on his one year birthday

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

My sweetest boy,

In just a few hours it will be one year exactly since the moment I first heard you cry. The anesthesiologist put her hand on my shoulder and whispered "here he comes," I felt a tug and then... the most glorious sound I've ever heard - your lungs filling with air for the first time and your mouth screaming out for me. 
You came as a total surprise and for a while there I wasn't sure we were ready. I wasn't sure I was ready. Your sister was still so very young, we were in the middle of a move and I wasn't even sure my body could handle it. But little did I know I was carrying inside me the most gentle and patient spirit. A boy with the most giving and forgiving heart. From day one it's almost as if you were trying your darndest not to inconvenience us. You roll with the punches, you don't ask for much and you rarely ever complain.  But most of all you love us all so very much. 
Every morning you greet me with the biggest grin and as soon as I pick you up you wrap your little arms around my neck and nuzzle me as I carry you to our bed for a few morning snuggles. I think more than anything in the span on this one year you have taught me to be kinder to myself. It's as if you've been coaching me this whole time, telling me that it's going to be ok, we're going to figure this out... together. Whenever I would stumble on this journey with you, you would be there waiting for me patiently to gather myself and try again. And for that my darling boy I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This year wasn't easy and we had some really rough days but I wouldn't trade a single one of them for anything. 
And so as I put you down for a nap for the last time as a twelve month old I can't help but think about all the things I'm going to miss... I'm going to miss how tiny you were and those little chicken legs of yours. I'm going to miss the squeaks and newborn coos. I'm going to miss the way your skin smelled those first few weeks and the way you looked swaddled all tightly like a caterpillar. I'm going to miss breastfeeding you and the way you would always play with your ear while you nursed. I'm going to miss your tiny clothes... your tiny everything... I know we have so many wonderful adventures ahead of us but my mama heart just needs some time to mourn what will never be again because when it was it was so, so good. 
Thank you my angel for the most wonderful year. For coming into our family and making it brighter, lighter and happier. We couldn't imagine our life without you we love you to pieces!!

Love, hugs and some salty tears,



Monday, September 28, 2015

teddy: I think we may have ourselves a walker by this guy's first birthday!!
birdie: she's just three month's shy of her third birthday and I can already tell this is going to be the best age!

fall outfit for a little boy

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Happy first day of autumn! So begins the joyous ride towards Christmas as all my favorite things descend upon us in the coming months. Including Teddy's first birthday... Which honestly, I don't even know if I'm excited about. A part of me is but a part of me (the part that spent last night looking at all his baby photos until I was an emotional wreck) is also in denial, emotional and heartbroken. Of course it went by too fast, it always does. Of course it wasn't all giggles and snuggles and there was a lot of really hard stuff too but my god if there isn't something painfully final about counting all those "never agains." I suppose I'll just keep focusing on his cake and presents and keep fighting the tears that threaten to come back at any given moment...

fall outfit for a little girl

Thursday, September 17, 2015

I always thought getting dressed in the colder months was infinitely more fun than summer - the layers, the hats, the woolen well... everything! But it turns out it's even more delicious when you have little ones. Pop a hat on a baby and it's an instant mood booster! Though to be fair they often don't see it that way. Here's a little something I put together for a little girl. I tried to mix high and low, similar to the way I actually shop for Birdie. I try to buy one or two well made and versatile pieces that may be a bit pricey and then I pair them with items I find at places like Target and Old Navy. Seriously, Old Navy has been so good lately, especially for little girls, and they have the best sales! Hope you enjoy!